Thursday, May 6, 2010

Afraid of finding out

She said it was my choice. Marriage or college? Said she trusted me to decide.
Right. Just like she said I could date anyone I wanted, or spend the money that grandma left me to visit Disneyland for Christmas with friends. Said she’d never interfere. She didn’t have to; I always knew what she wanted.

I wasn’t like my brother. He did what he pleased and lived with the fall-out. She’d explode, saying, “You don’t really love me.” He’d fake remorse and then charm her into forgiveness.

I never trusted it’d work for me and I’m still afraid of finding out.


  1. The frequenlty manipulative comment "You don't really love me" has muddied the waters of more families than I can count. Good call, JS!

  2. Mother-child relationships are so complicated... I love the statement: "She didn’t have to; I always knew what she wanted." Sounds way to familiar.

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