Thursday, May 6, 2010

Afraid of finding out

She said it was my choice. Marriage or college? Said she trusted me to decide.
Right. Just like she said I could date anyone I wanted, or spend the money that grandma left me to visit Disneyland for Christmas with friends. Said she’d never interfere. She didn’t have to; I always knew what she wanted.

I wasn’t like my brother. He did what he pleased and lived with the fall-out. She’d explode, saying, “You don’t really love me.” He’d fake remorse and then charm her into forgiveness.

I never trusted it’d work for me and I’m still afraid of finding out.


  1. Yikes. Momma's boy in a big way.

  2. The frequenlty manipulative comment "You don't really love me" has muddied the waters of more families than I can count. Good call, JS!

  3. Mother-child relationships are so complicated... I love the statement: "She didn’t have to; I always knew what she wanted." Sounds way to familiar.

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